Scary But True

Well I haven't written in a while, partly not sure what to write about and partly I was trying to leave cancer behind.

If you are a survivor you know you can't do that. Cancer was and is a part of who I am, but not just who I am. To ignore it or pretend it didn't happen gives it far to much power.

All survivors watch themselves with a strange almost obsessive concern over every change, dump, lump, or growth.  And I am no different.  Two months ago we (me and my doctor) found a new lump just on the right of my knee.  Normally won't have given a second glance.  But because my lymph nodes are a concern (already removed from my armpit) and if you didn't know we have allot of lymph nodes behind our knees.  Yes, so went for ultra sound and x-ray, and it was confirmed new tumor/growth but still didn't know what it was. So I waited for an MRI which I had last week. 

As I wait, every possible worst case goes though my head. The worst case it is metastatic cancer and I might lose my leg. I spent most of my energy trying to stay in the moment and positive.  It was a very emotional time for me and very draining.  Did silly things like I stopped making plans. Yes silly cause no matter what you must keep moving forward.  So before the doctor appointments, where I was going to get my test results.  I went to the gym and with the help of Mike of Back and Body Health and Crash Conditioning did a massive workout.  I decided to drive out all the negative energy as much as possible, because no matter what I was ready for a fight.  I get rattled and pushed around for a while and then I get my back up and dig in my heels.  I was so stiff and sore a couple of hours after but didn't care it actually made me smile.

Yes I got my results and there by the grace of God is it not metastatic cancer still a growth. I will find out next month if we should take it out or leave it where it is.  But the big news NOT Cancer. Very cool to read a report the says no evidence of metastases.   Both me and my doctor were and are very happy. She still had me see the shrink after, my doctor is a very smart amazing person. 

So I move forward and continue to fight for me. Everyday my goal is to be better than I was yesterday. With the support of some very amazing people I already know today I am better than I was yesterday. 

That support group is the biggest part of me and my success.  Everyday I thank God for them.  I would not be here with out them.

Only advice I can give, is to surround yourselves with people who believe in you and let the rest go.  To be successful or to survive you will eventually.  Yes a difficult and some of the scariest stuff I have done but there is no shame and believing in yourself. 

I WILL FIGHT FOR ME.

What a Month

Well February is just about done and I have to say it has been an incredible month.  Starting with World Cancer Day, in which I ended up going two T.V. interviews, two newspapers and one radio station.  And the article in Canadian Cycling I got to be a part of came out.  People were just lovely and very supportive! Huge thanks to the Alberta Cancer Foundation who have given me a place and a voice.

People ask me all the time why do I talk about Cancer, and the biggest reason for me is that I truly believe if you talk about what scares you, by the end of the conversation you are a little less afraid.  

Today I received the best possible compliment - one of my doctors asked me if I would be willing to speak to one of his patients.  He thinks she doesn't have anyone to talk to.  We all learn that Cancer scares people big time.  Some of us will lose friends because fear affects people in different ways.  I said it for be my honour to help if I can. I have had the honour and privilege to have a group of friends who have been outstanding.   And in that group I have small group who see the whole ugly side of what I have had to deal with. There support has meant the world to me.  

So if you have someone in your life that is dealing with cancer: just so you know, yes they are afraid, let them know it is okay to be scared. But the best thing about talking about it, is just that, talking about it. When you bring things into the light they are less scary. The worst thing that could happen they talk about stuff that scares you OR the best thing that could happen is your friend is a little less afraid tonight and sleeps a little better.

I WILL FIGHT FOR ME!

Amazing Day

Hi everyone; today was an amazing day. It was World Cancer Day and I had the honour of speaking at an event in which the Alberta Cancer Foundation launched a campaign called "Campaign 43".  It is about the 43 people in Alberta that will here they have cancer today.  And that happens everyday.  

No that is not the amazing part. The amazing part is: there are not many times in your life that you have the opportunity to affect someones future.  Being a part of today makes me think maybe think all the bike rides I do will make a difference. And one day that person who gets told they have cancer the next statement will be we have simple cure, and it will be a needle or a pill.  So to every rider, volunteer, and person who donate time, energy, and/or money THANK YOU we are a part of an amazing opportunity.


I WILL FIGHT FOR ME

Moving Forward

Well today I had my check up with oncology, it's been almost 90 days since I finished treatment.  I am happy to report that I am holding steady. All my tests were good.  I still have 4 more years of meds to take. We added another one today but it is to help with side affects. 

Sides affects, the worst being chronic fatigue, I get so tired, but exercise actually helps I know strange but true.  Exercise helps with allot of the side affects,  not really strong enough to do much more than just work on getting stronger.  Strong and healthy is the goal.

Some cool stuff is happening too.  Tomorrow I will be doing a video for the Alberta Cancer Foundation for World Cancer Day. February 4.  It's odd that we have a world cancer day not that we want to celebrate cancer but we do need funding research and awareness.  I think it is a huge honour and hope it turns out well. I will keep you posted on how it goes.  


I WILL FIGHT FOR ME