Moving Forward

Well today I had my check up with oncology, it's been almost 90 days since I finished treatment.  I am happy to report that I am holding steady. All my tests were good.  I still have 4 more years of meds to take. We added another one today but it is to help with side affects. 

Sides affects, the worst being chronic fatigue, I get so tired, but exercise actually helps I know strange but true.  Exercise helps with allot of the side affects,  not really strong enough to do much more than just work on getting stronger.  Strong and healthy is the goal.

Some cool stuff is happening too.  Tomorrow I will be doing a video for the Alberta Cancer Foundation for World Cancer Day. February 4.  It's odd that we have a world cancer day not that we want to celebrate cancer but we do need funding research and awareness.  I think it is a huge honour and hope it turns out well. I will keep you posted on how it goes.  


I WILL FIGHT FOR ME

Holiday note

Hi Everyone;

Just wanted to send a quick update. It's been a crazy year. Last Christmas was very scary, I was so sick and very unsure about my future.  I am very glad to report I am doing really well!   I have cancer meds to take everyday for 4 more years in hopes of keeping the cancer away as long as possible.  So I am as close as I will ever be to being cancer free.

  

Spending lots of time with family celebrating life. Also spending time working on getting stronger.  And that being said; I am back to work the second week on January. short shifts to start. I haven't done anything for 8 hours other than hospitals in 16 months.  

I will keep you all posted and when my bike training starts as you know I am riding again in 2014.  It's going to be my best year yet.

With all my heart I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.  

You all have been a part of my success and I thank you so very much xoxoxoxoxox

Here's to health and happiness in 2014

I WILL FIGHT FOR ME

Next Steps

As you know I have been fighting cancer for 16 months, so pretty much a year and a half.  My whole life has been focused on "my life" and dealing with cancer. Whether it was tests or doctors appointments or treatments, it has been all consuming.  Now as of last month, I am "cancer free" well I have 4 years of meds still to take and countless tests and monitoring, but cancer free. 

What does that mean? Am I just to get over it and say, oh well that was a hell of a year. I don't want to focus on the negative, but how do you just get over it and move forward.  I want to honour myself and respect all that I have dealt with. I want to be proud of myself.  Some days will be good and some days will be bad but that is about as normal as you can get.  

Like beating cancer I can't do it alone.  It is still a challenge for me to ask for help. So starting next week I will be seeing a counsellor. I have made the appointment this is going to help me process all that has been the last year. I am proud of me and


I WILL FIGHT FOR ME

It's Out

Well my port was removed yesterday.  When I think about it, it feels like a very long year that went by in a flash.  I had the port put in last December.  Because I needed more than a couple of treatments it was suggested I get the port to save the veins in my arms.  Chemo is pretty corrosive and can scare pretty badly. Now the YEAR of treatments are completed and yes it was a good decision. It did make treatment easier. I felt a bit weird some days.  I called it
i-chemo, I was plug and play just like my ipod :)

It did make treatment easier, but one of the side affects of chemo were some very vivid dark dreams.  One of them was recurring and it was the port moving in my chest, yes freaky and made sleeping tricky most nights. But it was a fundamental part of my treatment, so it's removal was going to be a big day. 

One because it truly meant to me I was cancer free. When the doctor said "I see no reason to keep it", I was pretty happy. Cancer is one of those things that never really goes away.  I already have appointments in January back at the cancer clinic. My dad asked but aren't you cancer free, I said yes on that afternoon I was cancer free, but it will come back, we just don't know how or when so we monitor and tests.  So when I was told the port could come out, it told me I really was cancer free as much as I could be.

So in the hospital for the removal, no sedation (looking back should have had some) they froze my chest with the nastiest needle I have ever had, when they say it doesn't hurt, remember that is coming from someone who has not had the needle. Holy ffffff it hurt. But the freezing kicks in, in a couple of minutes I was numb. My emotions sit pretty close to the surface and with the pain of the needle I got upset, hyperventilate and had tears running down my face. The nurses were great and are professionals at the art of distraction. Got my breathing under control and got me calmed down.

I asked if I could keep the port once it was out, surgeon looked at me like I was nuts but when I explained about my nightmares, he said absolutely. The nursed cleaned it for me and put it in a bottle. I call in my little alien. But I own it it doesn't own me.  It's all about moving forward. I have to take it easy for about a week no lifting stuff no hot baths for a couple days either but then I can really start to work on recovery. And no more nightmares.

I WILL FIGHT FOR ME

Last Treatment

So on Thursday I got great news, the following day was going to be my last treatment and I am cancer free, 11 months and 17 cycles DONE WAHOOOOO!!!!!!!

So on Friday I decided to make my last treatment special. I asked my friend Ashley to come along she has been outstanding through my whole process.  I also decided to take a cake.  I got one big enough to share, and  had 17 cycles written on it.  

We got to the hospital and when my name was called for treatment the nurse laughed, cause I was crazy happy to be there and she knew why.  I got all plugged in and chemicals running.  The nurse got me a trolley and with chemical poll in tow, Ashley and I went around the ward and gave out cake. I got to share my day with everyone there.  Chatted with everyone some even asked questions. I was so happy I got to do that, cancer is not just about me. It's about all of us.  Cancer touches far to many lives and I would like to think one afternoon we smiled and cancer wasn't so bad.

I now move forward and work on recovery.  Only thing left is surgery to have the port taken out of my chest. Fingers crossed, it will be out my Christmas.  

Oh of course I had my Ride to Conquer Cancer jersey on, every single treatment my jersey(s) have been with me.  I know that everyone who rode, was with me in spirit and I drew on all that positive energy. Also strangely, every single treatment I HAD AMAZING SUNSHINE.  It made a huge difference to be able to sit in the sun, more positive energy.  I asked all my friends to stand in the sunshine for a few minutes on treatment days and think positively, even more positive energy.  

Still dealing with side affects and I still have lots to blog about, but moving forward. 

I WILL FIGHT FOR ME

Almost Last Treatment

As I approach my last treatment it has been a long road and the side effects have been the full range. 

What I struggle with the most now is being tired. When I get really tired I can't even think,  I even lose my words.  I know them in my head but have no idea how to get them out.  It is incredibly frustrating. When I run out to steam I am really done. 

Today is my last treatment, so going forward working on recovery.  I want to be strong and healthy, and fingers crossed not so tired. 

I WILL FIGHT FOR ME

Honour Yourself

 I talk about my cancer allot and one of the things that people are surprised by is that I found the lump myself, through self breast exams. Yes they work, as part of my monthly routine I moisturize my whole body. Check yourself.  People are surprised that it works.  So many say back “I don’t really know what I am looking for” and I explain you are only looking for changes and you will know when it is something odd. If you honour yourself by moisturizing your body. It will reward you by knowing first if there is a problem you need to follow up on. So  I was thinking, if you could for breast cancer awareness month that is coming up,  make a  pledge where you will fight for yourself, moisturize and honour yourself by checking for changes not cancer just changes. 

The worst thing that could happen you get nice happy skin.

I WILL FIGHT FOR ME