BYE BYE 2012 on words we move forward and I WILL FIGHT FOR ME
Monday, December 31, 2012
Good Things about Chemo
Whole foods only processed just doesn't work
you see food in a new way
I lost 8 pounds with each treatment and I needed too
you see food in a new way
I lost 8 pounds with each treatment and I needed too
Chemo and it's cycle path
We all know chemo is hard but for it to truly work you kind of have to embrace it. It you spend your whole treatment scared and worried and it will be very much harder on you. So after a really good conversation with my doctor after the second round of chemo here is my plan going forward.
Because I ride my bike allot and miss it, chemo is my "bike ride"
So what does that really mean... well day one for chemo "infusion day" your body gets loaded with all the chemicals for the ride. So day one you get loaded up! Then you go home and start the drive of your life. Day one is like getting on the bike and riding all day your tired, just done and need to sleep. Day two you are still tired but you have to ride small hills and some hard ones. Day three and four are mountain days you will ride hard you will throw-up hard. Your body hurts (everything hurts) Think of yourself as on the ride if you win you really win. SO you peddle your ass off and puck at the top of the mountain. You can puke for hours (this isn't food puking this is chemicals puking from the bottom of your body and all the way up. But then at the end of Day 4 you have a bath the kind you add more hot water half way thru cause at this very point and moment nothing hurts and all is quite, and you want it to last as long as possible. I refilled the bath twice it was the best place on earth at that momment :) Day Five slept well and was able to get my breathfast smoothie down. Had to have a bit of a conversation with it to stay but it did. But still biking today small rollers so waves of good and bad, but moving forward. By the end of the week my bike ride will be done so we reat up and get ready for the next one. With only three weeeks between treatments it really is like training for an event.
Because I ride my bike allot and miss it, chemo is my "bike ride"
So what does that really mean... well day one for chemo "infusion day" your body gets loaded with all the chemicals for the ride. So day one you get loaded up! Then you go home and start the drive of your life. Day one is like getting on the bike and riding all day your tired, just done and need to sleep. Day two you are still tired but you have to ride small hills and some hard ones. Day three and four are mountain days you will ride hard you will throw-up hard. Your body hurts (everything hurts) Think of yourself as on the ride if you win you really win. SO you peddle your ass off and puck at the top of the mountain. You can puke for hours (this isn't food puking this is chemicals puking from the bottom of your body and all the way up. But then at the end of Day 4 you have a bath the kind you add more hot water half way thru cause at this very point and moment nothing hurts and all is quite, and you want it to last as long as possible. I refilled the bath twice it was the best place on earth at that momment :) Day Five slept well and was able to get my breathfast smoothie down. Had to have a bit of a conversation with it to stay but it did. But still biking today small rollers so waves of good and bad, but moving forward. By the end of the week my bike ride will be done so we reat up and get ready for the next one. With only three weeeks between treatments it really is like training for an event.
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Quite Irony
So my whole life I have struggled with body image and weight. While I started my journey to a healthier fitter life a little while ago. It's not like you turn on a light and oh ya I get it and then your the perfect health and weight. It's a slow process and lucky me gets to do it and fight cancer to. But it is something that has become probably the most important. You can't fight cancer unless you put yourself and your health first.
When I found out about the cancer my trainer "Adam" said it was time to working harder and get stronger. He was right! I worked out harder made better food decisions before the surgery and my surgeon was very happy with the results. But the road I was to travel is no where near finished. My pathology came back and yup next step was chemo and hard core chemo I tested positive for everything. Again lucky me!
Yes Chemo bad but not the end. Chemo will be how I survive the cancer but how well is up to me. NO it's not easy and NO it's not something I would ever wish on anyone.
AS a result I decided to create a list "Good things about Chemo" I know I must face all the challenges of this journey with my best foot and it's the positive foot, sound funny I know.
The first item on my list and maybe the best one. If there is ever a moment in your life when most people would give you free pass on food it is when you tell people you have cancer. Next thing that happens they want to take you for a meal and try and comfort you. Yes I know nice. So now for the first time in my life I can can have anything I want to eat, and guess what, chemo makes everything taste gross. So your know that light and process I am working on, well it just got brighter. My heath and weight it's not about the food it's never been about the food. It's about my interpretation of the food.
Quite Irony, number one on the list.
I WILL FIGHT FOR ME
When I found out about the cancer my trainer "Adam" said it was time to working harder and get stronger. He was right! I worked out harder made better food decisions before the surgery and my surgeon was very happy with the results. But the road I was to travel is no where near finished. My pathology came back and yup next step was chemo and hard core chemo I tested positive for everything. Again lucky me!
Yes Chemo bad but not the end. Chemo will be how I survive the cancer but how well is up to me. NO it's not easy and NO it's not something I would ever wish on anyone.
AS a result I decided to create a list "Good things about Chemo" I know I must face all the challenges of this journey with my best foot and it's the positive foot, sound funny I know.
The first item on my list and maybe the best one. If there is ever a moment in your life when most people would give you free pass on food it is when you tell people you have cancer. Next thing that happens they want to take you for a meal and try and comfort you. Yes I know nice. So now for the first time in my life I can can have anything I want to eat, and guess what, chemo makes everything taste gross. So your know that light and process I am working on, well it just got brighter. My heath and weight it's not about the food it's never been about the food. It's about my interpretation of the food.
Quite Irony, number one on the list.
I WILL FIGHT FOR ME
Monday, December 3, 2012
Letter to my Trainer
Hi Adam just wanted to share a funny story form dinner today.
We had roast beef and roast potatoes and veggies.
My plate has 2 quarters of potatoes and one slice of beef with 1/2 an apple with 5 grapes. My dad asked what the hell is that (in a nice way) I it's my dinner, he laughed she you (meaning me) in the past would have eaten more in just taste testing dinner, and we laughed cause it is true. I would eat so much while making dinner and would never really know what I had done.
SO I have a new project - I am going to start a list "Good Things About Chemo" today was item number two. - one being whole founds only processed not an option. I have decide you make you my Ying to the chemo being Yang. If I hadn't started with you I don't think I would have made it this far - I certainly won't be making choices that I am proud of and even proud of me. I am starting to really see me :)
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