A couple of weeks ago I got an email from a co-worker, she had heard what I was dealing with. She wanted to share her story and the story of a friend. It was a long email with allot of info on how she felt and what I think she is still dealing with. I do hope she has a therapists to help with that.
I have found with cancer everyone heals with it differently and everyone takes in different info. I need to be very careful with negative info I tend to absorb all the wrong stuff. Part me is still dealing with what I have dealing with for years that I am not of value or Worthy of a good life.
So when I read her email and got freaked out. She didn't have a good relationship with her oncologist and they had a discussion on it being her fault and it stuck me hard. I thanked her for sharing her story and let her know if I had any questions I would contact her.
I new I couldn't engage in any further discussions with her at this time. I felt bad but I knew it was not healthy for me. To easy to slide backwards.
I believe I am a good person and for the most part the only person I have ever really hurt is me. I have a difficult time making myself first. With cancer I can't do that anymore me and my health needs to come first. I am learning to push back and to take care of me. Honest with me!
I WILL FIGHT FOR ME
I have a friend who is going through some huge life changes - and not for the better. Her hubby periodically makes the news down here because he didn't lawyer up when things went wrong with his firm. He became the scapegoat even though others were more at fault. It has affected everything in their lives from lifestyle to health. She has asked not to be notified of anything relating to it. To me, forewarned is forearmed. To her, it's just another boulder on the pile to bear.
ReplyDeleteYou take what info you need, and handle it whatever way works for you. There seems to be a need with some people to blame the patient with cancer - you should have done this, you should have done that. The same could be said for the common cold, flu, measles, chickenpox... I know far more thin, healthy-eating & exercising people who have had cancer than not. There is no bllame, and you're an awesome person. You come first. Just get through the treatment. Take care of yourself!
Thanks for your kind words!
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