Hi Everyone;
As you know 3 weeks ago I had a double mastectomy and reconstruction. I choose not to have implants. I wasn't comfortable with the idea of having something foreign in my body, ok for some just not for me. They took my tummy fat and skin and rebuilt me. It was a tissue transplant that took 12.5 hours. I know that's a long time to be on the table, but I did great.
So with that process I also lost my nipples. And I am totally ok with that. I love my new boobs, don't get me wrong I still have drainage tubes in and huge swelling but I already love them.
When they took my nipples that area had to be replaced with skin from my tummy, but in a strange turn of events you see with my tummy skin you can see stretch marks they got moved too. I think it is the most amazing thing because it says to me, this is still me and so me I love them. I didn't want to look artificial after everything was finished and I don't it's still all me. Strangely validating! With the tissue transplant all the extra stuff left over went in the trash, so I now have a very flat tummy, also very swollen with drainage tubes.
My amazing new boobs and flat tummy are a gift that I treasure and thank god for the most amazing surgical team in the world.
Maybe once all the swelling goes down and the tubes are out I will post a picture, we aren't that brave yet :)
I WILL FIGHT FOR ME
Sunday, September 6, 2015
Thursday, August 13, 2015
How Do You Do That
Hi Everyone
As you know I lost half of my right breast to Cancer 3 years ago. Well tomorrow I will lose the rest of my breast tissue both side. By the end of tomorrow I will have had a double mastectomy and reconstruction. While this is reconstruction, I will have shape - no implants - using my own body tissue to recreate shape. What I do have to do is to say good bye to my nipples. Yes that's what I said.
Yes it sounds a like silly but I m trying to honour myself and at the same recognize my body will never be the same.
So many people have said well at least it's not a vital part of your body, I usually ask them if they would mind giving up the testicles. Yup they are quite after that. I know it is not a vital part and for the most part I am just fine with everything and this is a step forward, and fingers crossed next week I am cancer free and healing just fine.
I will take a shower before the hospital and soap them up for the last time. So when you take your shower tomorrow do me a favour - honour yourself and checking yourself. Then hopefully you will never have to say good bye to your nipples. Take care, and I will update you when I get home in a week or so.
Todays question "How would you say good bye to your nipples?"
I WILL FIGHT FOR ME
As you know I lost half of my right breast to Cancer 3 years ago. Well tomorrow I will lose the rest of my breast tissue both side. By the end of tomorrow I will have had a double mastectomy and reconstruction. While this is reconstruction, I will have shape - no implants - using my own body tissue to recreate shape. What I do have to do is to say good bye to my nipples. Yes that's what I said.
Yes it sounds a like silly but I m trying to honour myself and at the same recognize my body will never be the same.
So many people have said well at least it's not a vital part of your body, I usually ask them if they would mind giving up the testicles. Yup they are quite after that. I know it is not a vital part and for the most part I am just fine with everything and this is a step forward, and fingers crossed next week I am cancer free and healing just fine.
I will take a shower before the hospital and soap them up for the last time. So when you take your shower tomorrow do me a favour - honour yourself and checking yourself. Then hopefully you will never have to say good bye to your nipples. Take care, and I will update you when I get home in a week or so.
Todays question "How would you say good bye to your nipples?"
I WILL FIGHT FOR ME
Thursday, July 30, 2015
Next Steps are Good
Hi Everyone
So I have completed the next step I have met my surgical team it's actually three teams and surgery is about 12 hours. I know holy ssss.
My surgery is on August 11, 3 years and two days short of when I was first diagnoses. Can you believe it I have been dealing with Breast Cancer for three years now. My god the time did fly by.
In the last couple of weeks to get ready for surgery I think I have had everything tested, poked, x-ray, or scanned. And the nice thing is that absolutely everyone has been just lovely. Don't get me wrong there are some serious missings in the Health Care system but the people are amazing and they are doing there best with what they have to work with. I wonder everything a politician cuts services do they see there own families not getting the help they need. The Prime Minister and past Premier are from Calgary and I wonder how fast the new Cancer center might have been started if they couldn't travel and there wives needed treatment. Things that make you go hmmmmmm.
Anyway enough about that, all the stress that goes with getting ready for the hospital certainly puts everything in perspective at work. I can't fix everything and I can't get people to care about what I care about so letting it go. That is very difficult for me I care about what I do and take ownership of my responsibilities and duties. But when a hospital asks you what my plan is if everything doesn't go well in surgery and they want a copy of my living will. Yup everything went in respective order in a second.
I have also had some amazing things happen; I am part of the Alberta Cancer Foundation Cash and Cars lottery. I got to be in the brochure and in the T.V, commercial. And next week I also get to me in a video.
But most of all I am hugely thankful for my support team. My family first of course they have too :) After family there are the people that choose to be there. People like Danielle and Ashley and all the people I consider family xoxoxox
Last then there is Adam Bornstein and Mike Caione, there by the grace of god they came into my life and turned me into something more than a survivor, now I really am a survivor and a achiever of the very best. My goal in life is to help people in the same way they helped me. To believe in yourself is truly amazing gift you can give yourself.
Well that's enough for today, big week next week chat later xoxox
I WILL FIGHT FOR ME
So I have completed the next step I have met my surgical team it's actually three teams and surgery is about 12 hours. I know holy ssss.
My surgery is on August 11, 3 years and two days short of when I was first diagnoses. Can you believe it I have been dealing with Breast Cancer for three years now. My god the time did fly by.
In the last couple of weeks to get ready for surgery I think I have had everything tested, poked, x-ray, or scanned. And the nice thing is that absolutely everyone has been just lovely. Don't get me wrong there are some serious missings in the Health Care system but the people are amazing and they are doing there best with what they have to work with. I wonder everything a politician cuts services do they see there own families not getting the help they need. The Prime Minister and past Premier are from Calgary and I wonder how fast the new Cancer center might have been started if they couldn't travel and there wives needed treatment. Things that make you go hmmmmmm.
Anyway enough about that, all the stress that goes with getting ready for the hospital certainly puts everything in perspective at work. I can't fix everything and I can't get people to care about what I care about so letting it go. That is very difficult for me I care about what I do and take ownership of my responsibilities and duties. But when a hospital asks you what my plan is if everything doesn't go well in surgery and they want a copy of my living will. Yup everything went in respective order in a second.
I have also had some amazing things happen; I am part of the Alberta Cancer Foundation Cash and Cars lottery. I got to be in the brochure and in the T.V, commercial. And next week I also get to me in a video.
But most of all I am hugely thankful for my support team. My family first of course they have too :) After family there are the people that choose to be there. People like Danielle and Ashley and all the people I consider family xoxoxox
Last then there is Adam Bornstein and Mike Caione, there by the grace of god they came into my life and turned me into something more than a survivor, now I really am a survivor and a achiever of the very best. My goal in life is to help people in the same way they helped me. To believe in yourself is truly amazing gift you can give yourself.
Well that's enough for today, big week next week chat later xoxox
I WILL FIGHT FOR ME
Monday, June 22, 2015
Taken by Surprise
Hi everyone not sure why but Cancer still takes me by surprise.
I got to meet my surgeon yesterday it has taken 18 months to get in (I KNOW) but that's not for today.
We reviewed my file and all the oncology notes and such. To my surprise when he said I have to have a double mastectomy (well 1.5 mastectomy) To hear the surgeon say it shock me to my core. I knew this was coming but I don't think you can really prepare yourself to hear that out loud.
It is an all day surgery and I don't have the date yet; but here is the plan.
One team remove what I have left and then a second team will reconstruct my chest. I will get leg compression set up before I go into surgery to reduce blood clots (that's cool just like a pro cyclist) I am going a little bit smaller so apparently a littler easier to do. I am not having implants put in. Not that there is anything wrong with that but I don't want any stuff in my chest. If this was just a breast enhancement sure but this is cancer. So because no implants we are going to use my own tissue to rebuild, yes you got it my tummy will be my chest. I am looking forward to seeing how that pans out. He told me it is where the tissue comes from will hurt the most and I will have scares. I laughed scares are no problem they are my badges of survival I am very proud of them.
My nipples are a two part process of some fancy needlepoint done by the surgeon and then once all heeled some tattooing. Yup a bionic chest.
I am still keeping my head up and positive. I will keep you posted on when but for now. I will continue to get as strong as possible. I will be more than cancer and more than this event.
I WILL FIGHT FOR ME
I got to meet my surgeon yesterday it has taken 18 months to get in (I KNOW) but that's not for today.
We reviewed my file and all the oncology notes and such. To my surprise when he said I have to have a double mastectomy (well 1.5 mastectomy) To hear the surgeon say it shock me to my core. I knew this was coming but I don't think you can really prepare yourself to hear that out loud.
It is an all day surgery and I don't have the date yet; but here is the plan.
One team remove what I have left and then a second team will reconstruct my chest. I will get leg compression set up before I go into surgery to reduce blood clots (that's cool just like a pro cyclist) I am going a little bit smaller so apparently a littler easier to do. I am not having implants put in. Not that there is anything wrong with that but I don't want any stuff in my chest. If this was just a breast enhancement sure but this is cancer. So because no implants we are going to use my own tissue to rebuild, yes you got it my tummy will be my chest. I am looking forward to seeing how that pans out. He told me it is where the tissue comes from will hurt the most and I will have scares. I laughed scares are no problem they are my badges of survival I am very proud of them.
My nipples are a two part process of some fancy needlepoint done by the surgeon and then once all heeled some tattooing. Yup a bionic chest.
I am still keeping my head up and positive. I will keep you posted on when but for now. I will continue to get as strong as possible. I will be more than cancer and more than this event.
I WILL FIGHT FOR ME
Tuesday, June 16, 2015
Why Me
I wrote this last week I was trying to get accepted to an Amercian course on being a Cancer Advocate. I didn't get selected but I am not quitting. Tomorrow I see the surgeon for the next step to try and beat cancer at it's own game.
This is my note on why me...
I have just launched my own company "I Will Fight For
Me" (while still working full-time as Compliance & Control Analyst) I
have breast cancer and deeply involved in trying to help other cancer survivors
get stronger. I want to be a better
stronger advocate. I have been lucky
enough to be a spokesperson for the Alberta Cancer Foundation and the ride to
conquer cancer. To create awareness and to
build funds to go toward research. I
want to do more and I there is a huge gap I can help fill.
Breast Cancer is a very emotional issue and I think if I knew
more about the science will be a better advocate. To be able to speak to and about the science
of breast cancer would increase our audience.
To be a strong advocate you need emotion and science working together to
create a better voice. I need to be able to understand more to be able to speak
to more.
I have been fighting breast cancer for 3 years and know
first-hand how much we still need to understand to then be-able to treat and
then prevent and cure. I have been
though surgery (still waiting for more) chemo, radiation, and still on meds for
5 more years. I believe in talking about what scares us. When you bring things
into the light and talk they become less scary and now you can see what still
needs to be done. We need to reduce fear and increase education awareness and
research. I believe I have a strong
voice and can speak to what really happens.
I WILL FIGHT FOR ME
Thursday, June 11, 2015
On the Cover
This past week has been crazy busy and just strange...
Last week I had my oncology appointment and I always get nevous god knows why. I still don't get to say I am cancer free (grrrrr) and I had to have a bone scan and xrays done. Still waiting on the results. But on the same day the summer issue of LEAP magazine came out, it is a Cancer Magazine here in Alberta. It ain't the cover of the Rolling Stone but it is to me. Here is the link http://myleapmagazine.ca/2015/06/summer-2015/
I am working towards being a cancer advocate, I must do my best to help anyone with cancer. Far to many people and families are being affected by cancer and we can all do more.
I WILL FIGHT FOR ME
Last week I had my oncology appointment and I always get nevous god knows why. I still don't get to say I am cancer free (grrrrr) and I had to have a bone scan and xrays done. Still waiting on the results. But on the same day the summer issue of LEAP magazine came out, it is a Cancer Magazine here in Alberta. It ain't the cover of the Rolling Stone but it is to me. Here is the link http://myleapmagazine.ca/2015/06/summer-2015/
I am working towards being a cancer advocate, I must do my best to help anyone with cancer. Far to many people and families are being affected by cancer and we can all do more.
I WILL FIGHT FOR ME
Great Quote by George Bernard Shaw
Here is a great quote my friend Peter Smith sent me
“This is the true joy in life — being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one… being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.
I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as long as I live it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work, the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake.
Life is no ‘brief candle’ to me. It is sort of a splendid torch which I have a hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it over to future generations.
I WILL FIGHT FOR ME
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